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I swear.

As soon as I stop working...

I've just been so exhausted and depressed. The whole reason I hadn't quit in the first place was because I wanted to talk to Carrie, my therapist, first. So now I've talked to her and she agrees with me that the job, no matter how temporary, is not worth my mental or physical health and well-being. She did also say that she was very, I dunno, proud of me? for being able to last for as long as I have. That's not the exactly correct phrasing, but it's somewhat close. According to her, most of the Aspies who go into that shop will quit after 2 or 3 days, and I've lasted about 2 weeks. Probably because of all the vacation time in betweens. So I told her I was going to go in for another week, just to try it for a little longer, and then go in to see Marueen about how it's been and tell her I want to do something else.

Today I couldn't even manage to get up and go in I was so upset, so I had to call in sick. I was under the impression that I was supposed to have today off and had things planned that I was going to do. Have James come up and take him out to get a coat or two. So it ended up being a really terrible morning, lots of crying going on, and I couldn't stand one because it feels like no one has been listening and I don't feel that I know how to articulate myself correctly so as to get my point across. Carrie also said though that if I feel like people aren't listening I can use her instead to get the point and even have her talk to them for me. I'd really rather avoid that though, because I've been having other people do that my entire life and I can't have a mediator forever. Have to learn it myself sometime, even if I am never any good at it.

T~T