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It's too early in the morning for suicide

Um, the best way I can put that I'm feeling right now is that I feel like I'm drowning. I feel like my face has been shoved in a bucket of ice cold water and I can't breath. I'm so depressed. It's 2:30 in the am on sunday mourning. Melissa and Michael are coming over so that they can have a potluck thingie here with all the family for Michael before he leaves for Iraq. They wanted him to go back to Korea but that's just not gonna happen. I hope nothing happens while he's gone. Supposedly they're shipping him out for the next 6 months or so but melissa is betting it's gonna be for a year minimum. The military has always been so kind on them like that. When he was in Korea this last time they said he would only be gone for 8 months and then when it was almost time for him to come back they said he had to stay for another 4. Melissa was pretty upset over that. I sometimes wonder how this is all affecting that brat child of theirs. Not very well if you ask me. She's growing up without a father and it shows in her attitude, how spoilt she is. A little army brat she is indeed. I hate the military. Anyway, back to what I was on before. I feel like I'm drowning and I wish layton were here. I kinda wanted to spend some time alone with him yesterday but I couldn't because he invited roz to hang out with us. I pretty much ended up passing out in my air chair out in the bunkhouse, as far from layton as I could be (not on purpose) while still being in the same room, whilst watching finley play his nice new game. Baulders Gate 2. It's nice other than the fact that the only female characters are of the clergy. Finley likes the Necromancer dude. I miss my baby. I feel so hollow inside. It's been a little over a year now, I don't know if I'll ever fully recover. And here they come, I was wondering when they would show. Ah, to cry, a sad sweet indulgence that can rarely be partaken in these depressing days. Layton, I need you now. Goddess please make it all go so I may sleep dreamlessly tonight. Please don't force it to be like the last. I would not be able to take it if it was. Let me have a good full sleep so that I may wake well rested and better off. Please goddess. Let my simple request be heard. Layton I need you. You're so close that I can see you, and yet so far I can't reach you. I need you to help me breath again.