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Yeah, just what I needed...

I'm taking up temporary anorexia. James wasn't thrilled when I mentioned it off-hand. He doesn't like the idea of me hurting myself in any sort of way. I haven't been too terribly happy though. Haven't been hungry either. Told him it I am doing it as a way to give myself a sense of control over my life, albeit false (yes, I recognize this), something that I don't feel like I currently have. I can't even think straight. And unfortunately this won't help. Ha. But I'll be using the time to fix my head. And I have food replacement shakes that I'll be taking in the meantime.

I'm just really upset and don't want to talk to him about why because I know it would just make him unhappy too. It deals with how I just don't feel very appreciated by certain people in my life. Whenever stuff like that comes up anymore I don't think he wants to hear about it. Can't say as I would blame him, I just don't know what to do with it since I can't talk to the people it involves directly. Never could.


In better news, james is getting fridays off now, so that should be nice. He's not sure he still wants to keep the job though. I still don't feel it's a good idea for him to keep working there, but it's a temporary fix.

Leon is laying next to me and snoring. It's cute. :)