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James agreed to go halloween shopping with me tomorrow. It makes me very happy. I wanted to do it sometime in between layton being gone so he can't complain. Kinda like the doggie, only less extreme. I actually feel kinda bad about that. Leon loves him, but layton doesn't reciprocate. He gets soooo excited when layton gets home from work and will jump all over him wanting to play, but layton just gets annoyed at the nips at his hand.

Anyway, I wanted to go shopping and have been trying to do this for weeks now, but james keeps putting it off, so I asked if it would be ok if we could do that when he gets up tomorrow evening. He said it would be fine so I made him promise that he wouldn't flake like he's been doing. I think it was a little exasperating for him, how many times I told him he absolutely can't. :) But it's goth-fucking-christmas as was said by someone else I know. Actually two people. And it's true. *squeaks*

While I was talking to him on the phone I also told him thank you for letting me be myself. Completely. With other people, while I've been able to keep most of my personality, I do have to alter, ignore or disguise other parts and it usually ends up being detrimental. Those pieces get lost and are very difficult to track down again, if they can be found at all. With him I don't have to, though I think I end up doing it instinctively so I don't bother him. I asked him if he thought he would ever get annoyed with my weirdness in the future and he said no. The crazy is all he really has issues with, and I suppose the crazy is really very tiny once you understand. He's too good for me and I really don't deserve someone as sweet, accepting and loving as he is. Don't even want to think about how things would be without him around.

It went from being white hot and was tempered into something much calmer. I remember when I first told him that I loved him. It was in an email and I ended up freaking out as soon as it was sent and wanted to take it all back, could have too, but I left it as it was and he didn't freak or get weird like I thought he would. That was a long time ago though, and I've been trying to go as slow as possible, even though I want it all now. I don't want to mess this all up.

Oh yeah, he also pointed me towards amazon.com's extry special and exclusive fallout pre-order. It's the shit and I have to try and talk layton into spending 60 more dollars on it than he would normally and canceling the gamestop pre-order. Holy balls do I want that lunchbox (and pip-boy).

Picture of the day:
by *xadhoom on deviantART