Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

God, I'm so tired. Think I feel a little better though. Gave my box to james, asked him to keep it for me for awhile and put it somewhere I can't find, and asked layton to please take his thing. I feel bad for having to wake james up, but he was a helluva lot more accomidating than layton was, who was wide awake and leaving for work. Layton yelled at me and made me cry. When he was gone I broke down.

I think they just wheeled a dead body by me. Some old lady. Whatever.

I don't understand why layton gets so angry at me over this. I mean, would he seriously rather see me dead? Because I can do that for him. Just don't need him being pissy, that just makes things worse.

And there goes radioactive stuff. Yay.

So I cried. And boy did I fucking cry. Didn't think I would be able to stop and clean up before mom had to come and get me, but I did. Then I went and woke up james to ask him that favor. I really did feel bad for waking him up but I don't know how I'll be when I get home. Tired I'm sure, but will I get suicidal again? Don't know. And if I do I don't want that to be avalible to me. It's kinda stupid though because I still have access to all the kitchen knives and shaving razors in the house. And some of those knives in the kitchen are fucking sharp as hell. But I don't think I would use those.

Still have an hour... Actually 1:10. This is so fucking boring.

I'm wiped out to all hell now. All that crying sapped most of my energy and I'm just barely functioning. But I can still feel the tears pressing behind my eyelids. Not enough to escape though. I keep telling myself that I'm just being menstural and I'll get over this soon, but I know that's a lie.

Anyway, I'm now sitting in the hospital with an hour more to go until I can actually get my uptake scan. I'm terribly glad to have a computer that i'm able to use. Makes this less boring. When I get home I'll be able to eat again normally. Don't have to worry about anything with my appointment tomorrow since that's just the results of today. And actually, I'll be able to eat period. How exciting. So many things. Salty-yum. Yeah, whatever.