I'm fucking frustrated with my mother. She cut out my online time so I'm now having to sneak it in at night. All because her and my dad can't handle the way I live in my room. My room, where I live, which is upstairs and no one sees but me. Fucking retarded. I hate being treated like a child. My dad was threatening to take away my tv, which he didn't know I had until I went with christina and mom cleaned everything up and showed him her handi-work. *sigh* So I'm sneaking in my time off nocharge after she goes to bed at night and when she's gone during the day.

Forgot that I was going to dye my hair on monday. Felt like an idiot when I remembered that at james' yesterday. So I thought that I would do it thursday when everyone won't be home, decided to do it today. Finished sewing up my bag and putting a patch over the 'by ameila' on it (so I could take off the hunchback button). I still have a few more things I want to put on it, but not right now. Still have to figure everything out.

I've been tired and depressed today. I can't stand anything that's going on. Don't get it. Any of it. Why did I end up the one who was bullied? What made people single me out as the freak? Yeah, I was a little quieter than everyone else, big deal. That didn't make me a freak or different. But thanks to that, all of them, I'm now borderline deathly afraid of people. I never leave my house by myself and I have very few friends who I actually see. And I have no one I can talk to about it. Layton is on the end of it all the time, and I'm tired of making him the only person who hears about it. Everyone else I've tried to talk to about it hasn't really listened. They either ignore or interrupt me. Councilors and therapists are ok for that I guess, but they're just analyzing you and trying to figure out how to 'fix the broken.'
...
I don't know what the point is in my saying all this. Just trying to get the mess out of my head and doing a terrible job of it.

Picture of the day: No picture right now, sorry