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I'm having a rough few days. Nothing is going like it should. I was terribly upset last night. I knew that today was going to be a bad day, but I didn't realize to what extent.

Had to go to the dentist and get a filling. And as if that's not bad enough, my mom decided that my grandpa was taking me (if you've ever wanted to see a 21 year old act like she's 2 that was the perfect opportunity) and when I was in the car on the way there I found out my cd player batteries were dead. Had a god damn panic attack. I was shaking and trying not to cry in front of my grandpa. And then we got there after much delay. I asked them if they had a couple I could use. They did, so that made it a little better. And in the chair I went from being ok, to bad and crying, to ok, to bad over and over and over. I was almost positive that when I came home I was going to off myself because my *new* dentist is a fucking moron, and I still may if things keep up. He finally gave me permission to have my wisdom teeth pulled though. Almost 2 years later... I think he screwed up somehow, because I can't eat.

Layton didn't come see me after work. Just went home. Missed him and his company.

And I can't eat. Not that I really want to anyway. My body isn't quite working right. Can only hope everything rights it's self tomorrow. If not, I'm fucked again. Don't know what I'll do. I have no options in any way period.

One of finley's friends happily reminded me that the 4th is next week. I don't want to be around for that. Or rather for the night before. Last year it was a living nightmare that I had blissfully forgotten until that short reminder. I hate myself. Everything is always my fault.

Picture of the day: Lost