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Dec. 10th, 2005

I'm not sure what to do or say about anything. The past few days I've been waking up in the morning and just feeling like shit. Completely useless. My life has no meaning and I'm feeling it more and more. Wake up. Try and do something. Get nothing done because I have no motivation and nothing worth doing. End up in my room crying and waiting for layton to come over. And that's basically the highlight of my days. I can't even eat. Every time I try I feel so sick and I just want to throw it all back up again. It's not normal. So I've been eating as little as possible. Just enough to keep me from feeling any worse. I'm tired and I feel like all I want to do is sleep.

Didn't end up getting drunk last night. I could barely tolerate it. The wine is probably all oxidized now anyway, so I don't know if I'll end up drinking anymore later. Roz's mom happened to be driving by with her when we got up to top foods so we ended up hanging out with her and then she came home with me. We talked lots, as usual, about everything. She had a bad day. Fucking ian's friends tried to fuck her up and she had to get away from them. Apparently they've never heard how you don't hit girls because one had a knife. Bastards.

And now I'm out of time so I have to stop. Probably put more down later. Maybe.

-And my edit to add more. Yay.-

I'm tired. Been drinking more today, or tonight . Not drunk. Gave layton my wine from last night and I drank the strawberry daiquiri (I swear it has only half the alcoholic content of the wine, if that) while layton went up to get vodka and bloody mary mixers. He also picked up some powerade for hangovers if anyone gets one. I never really seem to get drunk anymore. Well, ok, that's a half lie. The past, uh, three times I have been (the last time being the best, when it was snowing) but every other time it's been a no. I just can't stand hard alchochol anymore. It's sad. I'm dealing with a drunken roz and layton in my front room. Kinda worried about layton. He has to walk home and he just keeps on going. I know he's only going to get more drunk as the night goes on. But he can't stay here. So I'm fucking worried as all hell. I hope he gets home ok and safe.

Picture of the day: The Seven Deadly Sins: SLOTH