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I'm tired and I'm sick so if I seem irritable that's why. I woke up with a head cold yesterday morning, or maybe it was the day before I don't know, I'm still fighting with it and it seems to be winning. I can only sleep and lay down on my right side if I want to breath at all and I hate sleeping on my sides or back if I'm not near people for the most part. 75% of the time it makes my wings uncomfortable (don't ask if you don't already understand) so if I ever end up on my stomach or in the fetal position that's why. Bit early in the season to be ill, no?

There is a reason why I can't keep ahold of money. I will go searching over the internet for things that I find funny and if it needs money to get done then I'll usually spend it to get it. Like yesterday. I happened to be looking at games online and I saw that someone was selling a pokemon jade. The first thing that went through my head was "Haha, that looks pretty funny, I think I'll bid on it." And so I did. It had two minutes left to go, and I put up 25 dollars with 10 for shipping. After I got done with the ha-ha's I looked at the screen and it told me I was the high bidder. Ouch and oh crap time for the panic to set in. ^_^' Anyway, I almost got my ass handed to me with it fundage-wise. Lucky for me, someone bid just a dollar more in the last 2 to 5 seconds, I'm not sure how many exactly, but I was saved. I really need to be more careful and if I find something that amuses me like that, just print out a picture next time, don't actually go and try to spend money on it.

Today I went out drinking with roz, tess, matt, and layton behind the graveyard. I managed to keep from getting uber-drunk. It's been a long time since I've done that, with the bad drunkeness. I guess I've been pacing myself pretty well. Walking around the graveyard after was fun and I got roz a really big fat green marble. Got to see some pretty neat things that people do too. Like a few of them were all decked out for halloween. One was really neat and I wish I'd had my camera. Roz spent half her time spazzing out and I just sat there and did my philosophical-counselor-bitch thing. I shoulda been a therapist, and in another life I'm sure I was, or will be. Anyway, we talked about her alcoholism and how she really needs to quit. It's official now. Layton and I can no longer drink around roz, and if I do drink and want to talk about it (like in here) I need to make sure that she can't see it. She was saying how she would still like to try absinthe and take mushrooms still but I told her that, that was a big no-abso-fucking-lutely-not, and how if she wants to get sober then she shouldn't be taking shit of any kind, especially absinthe because that's still alcohol. Smoking is ok, but that's about it until she can say she's been a year clean -minimum- and even that's pretty iffy. She really needs to, whenever she gets the craving, dive into her music, game boy, writing or drawing. Those are the best forms of therapy that I have ever found outside of actually talking to people. We got into how she doesn't want to be like her dad, and I kept trying to re-enforce into her head the she was far above that asshole. Into how you don't need to be in a relationship to know that you care for someone. She was feeling the odd one out at one point. How all her 'relationships' in the past were shit and that they were only using her and they weren't really good for her. She started crying a couple times, almost made me cry too, but I managed to hold myself together. I don't get how she manages to keep going with her life how it is. God knows I would have thrown it all away a long time ago.

I mean, I know she wants to get better, and I really do believe that she can get better, but it just takes time and a good effort on her part. Oh and some good friends who can support her every step of the way. And she's got all of it. She can do it if she really sets her mind to it. And hey roz, here's a thought if you read this at all. If you can manage to stay clean for 3 months I'll buy you either a couple cd's or a new game for your game boy. Game would be easier for me because they're easier to get ahold of, but a couple cd's work too.

I talked to layton a few minutes ago and he was telling me how he had to help roz when she took a shower. *eww pervert!!! ha ha, not really* I think he said she passed out in there at one point and he had to wake her up and get her out or something. I think once he woke her up though she had a little independent fit and it rushed him out of the room. She does that a lot. Like when we were walking home. She didn't want help but when layton let go of her she almost did a face-plant into the street. Sometimes it seems like talking to a little kid telling them no they can't have candy. No offense roz, I just mean when you're drunk, which is all the more reason to sober up.

When my mom picked me up at scenic hill park, right after I got into the car roz started throwing up on the curb. My mom saw and I had to pass it off as she was just sick and han't eaten today. Layton thought that it would be fine but she, my mother, felt really bad about roz and layton walking back to matt's house, even though it's not that far, so I just yelled at them to get in the car because they had a ride.

By the way, does anyone have a screwdriver that would fit into the back of older nintendo gb games? Looks kinda like a flower... I wanna take mine apart to see what makes it tick. (and probably solder a new piece in there if I can find it)

Ugh, and now the coughing starts. Dammit. I wanted to avoid that part. Time to gargle salt. Yum.

(and the comment I made about the weapons, there was a rapist in the neighborhood recently)

Picture of the day: Inner Demon


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 2nd, 2005 08:34 pm (UTC)
thank you
just to let you know that I read this, I apologize for acting spazzy, but I appreciate you helping.my life's not too good right now but I'm going to try not to drink.
Oct. 4th, 2005 06:16 am (UTC)
Re: thank you
You're a spaz, it's what you do best and we all love you for it. *hugs* The no drinking will be a good thing and I'll try and help as much as possible.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )