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I think I'm good?

Falling down a spiral staircase. Interesting experience. Friday, around noonish, I ended up falling down, though it was more like a very harsh slide, the bottom bit of the stairs while trying to get Leon down. And until Sunday evening I was stuck on the sofa. The entire right side of my body was really messed up because I was using it to try and catch anything, while I used the left to try and protect and keep Leon from injury. Needless to say I don't plan on repeating the experience.

Sunday evening I tried to take Leon out for a walk. Didn't end up going so well and I came back and was down again for the rest of the night, which I suppose wasn't bad because I had to go to bed anyway. Monday was appointments while James watched Leon and a little shopping with Layton. He took me up to goodwill where I unfortunately found a bunch of skeleanimals from target last year. It killed me because I wanted to take them all home. >.<' Oh, but I found some Popeye Spinach while we were shopping for food next door. I had to buy a couple.

And today I had to go to Orion and fill out their shit. It ended up being a really bad day for me; everything was going wrong. My phone was lost and the battery was dead, in the car with my dad at work, I got James to watch Leon down at Layton's, managed to forget to take him down both the employment guide and 'Now and Then, Here and There,' AND to top everything off, I was supposed to bring my ID and SS card, and because my mom wanted to give me my social security card I managed to bring neither. Pulled my wallet out of my bag to put it into, and I never got it back in after. So when they asked for id's and ss's, I had a giant fucking panic attack and ran out into the hall, probably making a huge scene. Oh, but my heart rate never got above 90 as far as I can tell. I think that's probably abnormal.
Blah,blah,blah. Filled out paperwork, was the last person out, have to take my id back tomorrow when I go in for a pee-test. Suppose it's a good thing I don't do drugs.

When I got back I sat down with James for a couple hours while he watched Dragon Ball Z. It helped me feel a little better. I'm still pretty down about everything because I don't even want to do this in the first place. It feels so rushed and I thought I would have more interactions with my DVR counselor. Everyone keeps asking me if I think I'm ready to do this. I want to scream, "NO I'M NOT FUCKING READY BUT I DON'T HAVE A GODDAMN CHOICE." But I can't. No one would understand. You can't stop time until you feel like you're ready. I've already pushed at it for over 5 years. I need an income and no one is going to help or be understanding at all in the matter.