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Sad stuff

I'm really tired today. I'm still a bit frustrated with Allen popping up again, this time it's virtual, so if I so choose I can just ignore it. But I'm not sure if I want to though considering the history and the fact that he acts like a boomerang and every 4 years or so, give or take, I end up seeing or hearing from him again. For 16 years.

The last time he came around I ended up getting repeated calls from him and I tried to ignore him hoping that he would just go away. AND eventually he did, but apparently he didn't get the message. There is also all sorts of shit I would just love to tell him. And it's not that I want to be mean, I just want to move on from that part of my life. While he was very nice and was never abusive in any way shape or form, he would never touch me wrong or speak badly to or of me, I would still consider that relationship to have been abusive for reasons I don't need to go into suffice it to say I was in a troubled point and he didn't help. Very toxic and I've been over it for years though to all my understanding, he isn't.

So I'm not sure if I want to continue ignoring him, or just get it over with and tell him I don't care if he continues holding a candle but he snuffed out mine ages ago. And then I got to grow up and gain a brain.

Ugh.
Enough of that.

Todd is having a little trouble of his own. He's been really slowing down over the winter, I presume due to his age. The few times I've gone out with him on walks he hasn't really been able to keep up like he used to. Saturday afternoon he managed to snap a pole for a little net in half running through the cables I presume, chasing Layton's car down the driveway. It's really upsetting for him, when he sees someone going off in a car, because he can't go with. Monday my mom and I took Leon and him out for a walk. He was really slow as usual. Oh, his appetite has been really bad too. It took a lot of coaxing to get him to eat, and we have no idea if he got his lunch or if Leon got to it first. And yesterday, or today (whatever you want to call it since I have yet to go to bed), he hasn't been able to get up and walk. And when he does, it's with a limp. So I sat down with him and he was brushed a bunch until he couldn't stand it anymore. He's also getting the chicken legs in the freezer since he still loves to eat those. So on Thursday my mom and I are taking him to the vet to see what's wrong and if there is anything that can be done.

It's sad and I'm trying not to think about it much, but I really don't think he's going to last the summer at this rate, and will probably have to be put down. And though he's not technically my dog, I think I'd probably end up being the one to make that decision. My mom has expressed how much it upsets her and talked about how she couldn't even take Lucky in when they decided it was his time to go.

With Lucky, he only had 3 legs for most of his life and when he got old he started having trouble getting up, used that stump to try and help and the skin eventually wore away on the shoulder where his leg used to be. And it just couldn't heal so everyone did what was best. I miss him sometimes... he was so sweet.

And I'm really tired now so I'm going to do everything else in the morning.

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
fly_among_stars
Jun. 10th, 2010 02:37 pm (UTC)
=/

I still miss the family Beagle, Cookie. We got her when I was 5 or 6 years old and we grew up together. We had to put her down late in high school or early in college, I can't remember which. I still miss her happy greetings, snore-y sleepiness, and howling barks.

And my Favorite Dog In The World (that's actually what I call her to her face), Ishboo the Chihuahua, is also getting very old. I'm just glad she made it to this summer since she loves warm weather and bright sun.
gremlynna
Jun. 11th, 2010 01:38 am (UTC)
::hugs:: I remember when my dad had to put our Siberian Husky Lobo down. He hated to do it, but the Lobo had some sort of hereditary paralysis in his hind legs and judging by his yelping it was quite painful.

I hope Allen leaves you alone too. I had my very first bf find my MySpace and ask to friend me, but I've just ignored it because he was a bit of a temperamental, controlling jerk!
schwarzkatze
Jun. 17th, 2010 07:00 am (UTC)
Allen wasn't though. If it weren't for everything he did with the bitch Carla, I probably wouldn't care less about him or anything that went on in that relationship.

I'm sure he will though. And I will be so thrilled when I never have to hear from him again.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )