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I am very much lacking in many departments

So, the past week and a half has been... well, it has been different to say the least. And it feels like it's been a lot longer than just that. More like 2 or 3. And perhaps it has, I don't know. With how lax I've been in trying to keep track of events that are going on, it wouldn't be surprising in the slightest.

I've been approved for disability, fully approved, but that would be apparent. This means I'm getting a little money in, 200 food, 300 cash (200 which goes to my parents for rent), and in Spring I'll (possibly; probably) be put in a program that will help train and get me get a job. One with computers I think. And it's free too which is always a positive. All assuming I can manage to keep up with all their demands, which I hope are not many. Now I have to apply for SSI. Been sort of putting it off though because I didn't really get how. DSHS said it was on their website on the left side and I couldn't freaking find it for the life of me. Of course, I also didn't take to terribly much time out to look beyond the obvious. Today I actually took the time out to do a search for it through Google. And oh hey, there it was. Still can't actually find it on the DSHS site.

Went to the doctor who said my borderline-blinding headaches are due to tension and prescribed massage therapy. Will only do medications as a last resort. Everyone knows how against the stuff I am. My main excuse is that I'm a compulsive pill-popper (which is very much true), but I am also tired of having had to take pills for so many years. Another one of my major qualms that I don't vocalize so very much is that I don't appreciate the stranglehold that the pharmaceutical companies have on the medical industry and how much it costs just to get a bottle of ibuprofen. It's just as bad as the insurances. And speaking of insurance, same day as getting that taken care of I also got a DSHS letter which I think (basically) insinuates that I'm not going to be able to continue on my parents medical or seeing any of the people I do now. All right after getting a letter from their insurance asking for a doctor to fill it out so I can continue after I turn 25. Frustrating to say the least. I get good stuff there and will be losing a lot because of it. I also assume this means I won't be able to see Carrie whenever that was. She's got a long waiting list. Fantastic...

About a week and a half ago I had to go to the dentist for a cleaning. Apparently due to my terrible time going in there last time she decided she wanted me to have some laughing gas.
And I don't actually find nitrous oxide to be that funny, nor do I feel I need it. Give me my headphones and I'll be peachy-keen. But she insisted on it and I suppose that it was fine though for the cleaning. It caused the revelation to me as to why people get high and listen to music. I laying in the chair the entire cleaning thinking to myself, "Oh boy, so this must be what people feel like! Wow. I can't see this as being something I would want to have happen on a regular basis, wait, I want to hear Siouxsie and the Banshees!" It was interesting and all, but it's kind of icky thinking about feeling that way all the time. People who huff are pretty ew anyway. I can't stand the idea of not being able to take care of myself. James was over babysitting Leon for me and playing Marumasa, and it was nice to get back home. I brought back a Papa Murphy's pizza for us. It was a good day.

And that was my cleaning experience. Not bad, wouldn't repeat regularly. Went back a week later for a filling and my experience with it wasn't nearly so pleasant. Everything started out ok but about 10 minutes into the oxide I started internally freaking out and wanting to tear the mask off because I thought I was suffocating. It felt like I was holding my breath so I started breathing harder, breathing in that much more oxide which made the feeling of suffocation worse. Eventually it did pass though, took a few long agonizing minutes where I was fully convinced I was going to die, but it did pass. And then my dentist came in and she insisted on turning it up, a little more, asking if I was fine *yes* and turning it up a little more and telling me to enjoy it. Yeah... :\ She also gave me a fuzzy hippopotamus, which to my understanding is usually reserved for children, so I found solace in feeling his soft fuzzy. Sticking my fingers into his ears, memorizing the way his face was shaped and how the fur on his feet and ears had the feeling of being slightly softer than the fur on the rest of his body. Yes, I am that weird. And I was so thrilled when I was able to get out of that chair.

Leon and I have been playing a bit more. I'm taking more time out when he brings toys up to me, and he's learned it's best to bring ropes and other tug toys or run around the little circle in the middle of the house. I don't like playing fetch with him because he's so grumpy and demanding when we do, and he'll only bring the toys back for about 3 or 4 of the tosses before he starts insisting that I have to get them. Not the point in me throwing things. Of course, he also seems to have figured out exactly when I am most preoccupied and insists on doing things then. :)