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Another day, another post.

I just had a Domoooo! ATTACK energy drink and it wasn't as bad as I expected it would be. Pretty good actually. And this is coming from the person who doesn't tolerate caffeine well. Typically I'll get bad jitters, go numb and feel really sick. But so far I'm fine, just a little numbness. Have to pick up James from work around one-ish. He's having to do the midnight release of that new Call of Duty.

And Halloween.

It sucked. Really it did. I had no idea what I was getting into before it happened. At the very least, I wanted to be able to go trick-or-treating, and I did NOT want to be the only one. Have to be in the middle of a crowd to do anything, social phobias and what-not. Didn't think it was too much to ask, but as I am often, I was wrong. Everyone else decided they were just going to walk with me. So I panicked and couldn't do it. This was the last year I was planning to do so since every year prior Layton would really upset when I would bring it up, or I would plan for it and the plans would all fall apart. I don't know why I expected anything different this year. Oh wait, yes I do. It's because Layton agreed with no struggle or anger on his part and mentioned nothing of "just walking."

Anyway, the plans fell apart and the night got nothing short of worse from there. For a little while I thought maybe it would be better. James and I went exploring in Matt's garage and I found a round folding chair he said I could have. He thought it was broken but when I used it, it worked just fine. He also let me have a pretty table lamp that was just in need of a new bulb. But I digress. Things I thought were getting better and then all of the sudden Mark, his sister and Colby showed up. Crash. And. Burn. Tess was unhappy by the turn in events too. Mark was high off freaking mushrooms and going off about how he was going to go running in the graveyard high as shit. He didn't. He ended up sticking around forever with everyone in the kitchen going off about random stupid stuff. His sister came in and recognized me and I had to talk to her for a little bit until she got distracted. Everyone left after a few hours, only to have Mark come back later in the wee morning hours. And he was banging on the front door and windows when he couldn't get in. I didn't answer the door as I was instructed not to, though at one point I almost did I was so pissed. Probably would have, and I would have punched him in the fucking face too, if James hadn't told me to just let it alone. Layton was the one that ended up answering it, completely incoherant. The 10 minutes of banging and yelling going on was enough to wake him up from his drunken stupor. I really should have just called the cops...

James was with me though and he tried to make me feel better throughout the entire night. If he hadn't been there I probably would have gone home as soon as Mark showed.


I'm really glad for this journal. It's a really awesome way to be able to get things out that otherwise would stay on my mind twisting and distorting until something bad happens.