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Things get in the way. I have other things that I could be doing even now, dishes, walking leon before james gets home and bed, cleaning up the floor, but this is important to me and I don't want to lose it, so I'm taking out the time. Or I'm trying anyway. As for if I'll get anywhere... we'll see.

James is trying really hard to get a computer, and I told him I would get him a desk for christmas, but neither seem to be working out. I've been looking on craigslist to little avail. The last one I found that sounded nice, near enough that we could go get it and he said he wanted was listed yesterday, and when my mom called the guy up, she had to call twice because he never called back, the guy said he didn't have it anymore. "Oh, I should probably remove the listing." It's still up and I have a feeling it will be until it expires. Jackass. I was very disappointed to say the least. We don't live in a good area to find nice things for inexpensive (or free which is what I'm looking for). It's all either way north, or way east and on some almost inaccesible island. :( Poor skills really suck sometimes. They're so difficult.

The other day, a few days before thanksgiving, I had to go with my mom to help at the church storehouse filling orders for needy people. I was a little lost at first, I couldn't help fill orders, until charlene found me and gave me something that I could do. She is the lady I used to work for. Helping her fill up bags with fruit and veggies. It helped get everything done on time. The last lady out my mom was helping pick up things and she said how her daughters would be so happy that she was going to be able to bring home apples. They don't get them often. It kinda put me into shock. Apples too expensive... Wow. That's poor. I'm glad we can afford apples. I'd actually like some clementies though. Asked my mom about them the other day, she says they're in season now, so I'm hoping to be able to pick some up sometime. If I can ever get to a store anyway.

Thanksgiving was spent at my sister-in-law melissa's house, high. Layton gave me a painkiller because he knew I was going to need it to survive. I had hoped not, but turned out I did, and I took it after I started crying on my mom. I can't handle being around anyone other than my immediate family, and she likes to invite the entire fucking planet over to her house. There were unruly kids running around EVERYWHERE. They managed to knock over a glass of water I had sitting on a table for leon. It was pure insanity and I won't be doing it again. Every time I ask james to not let me make these stupid choices, and every time he lets me make another. Gives me options, but I don't need or want options, because I always take the wrong. :( I think I do it to intentionally sabatoge myself. So my mom knows I'm not doing this again for christmas. I know melissa is going to want to have everyone over again, and it's not going to be anyone I'm expecting. So this is just a no-no.

This desk thing is going to be really incredibly hard on me... Friday James, Leon and I are supposed to go out shopping up in seattle. Possibly someone else, mike, if James asks and he wants to come with. I said it was fine and I have no issue with it.