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Recee got hit by a car today. Melissa probably won't understand, I've been hysterical and my mom is taking the blame and telling me not to talk to her about it. I'll do it, but I will not feel good about it because it was all my fault and melissa is nothing but a stupid bitch. She is jinxed. No one in the house wanted her dog to stay there and melissa has been nothing but problems for the entire house since moving in. That's the way it's always been. She's stupid and doesn't care about anyones feelings but her own and her spawn. Michael is lucky he doesn't have to be around her so much. But I feel horrible for recee. Melissa calls it her daughter, but has been basically treating her like a throw-away pet. Nothing like her real daughter katie. When she was leaving germany she left her there with a friend. She just picked her up at the beginning of this last week, and then left again on friday without recee to go on vacation in california. She would never do anything like that to katie, and somehow she thinks it's ok to do it to recee. If I didn't have leon to take care of I probably could have taken better care of recee, but I'm sorry if she hasn't been my first concern. The entire house is full of animals with two of them being mine, 3 dogs, 1 cat and 1 rat, and melissa has made hers the brattiest. She doesn't know how to take care and train her properly so shit like this wouldn't happen. Recee is spoiled and selfish, just like her mom. She trained her well that way at least. But I don't blame recee for any of that, it's not her fault for being that way.

So she got hit by a car and I didn't notice because all I saw was dopey little leon running out after her, though I didn't know it at the time, I just thought he was coming out to see me since he ran right into me. Recee got hit, the car swerved, stopped for a couple seconds with me completely oblivious to anything going on since she barely made a sound and it didn't register in my mind as being her since I believed she was in the house, before driving off. Some stupid ass black sports car, of course they're not going to care about anyone but themselves. When I did see recee in the road it confused me for half a second before it dawned on me what happened and I ran out screaming and crying into the road to scoop her up and run back into the house screaming at the top of my lungs what happened. My mom flipped out we were screaming at my brother to take care of leon while we rushed off to the vet. Her breathing was really heavy and raspy and I'm really surprised she isn't dead, being a tiny yorkie and all. Instead she just has a broken foot and her pelvis is too, with a bunch of pavment burns.

Ugh. I think I'm starting to feel drunk. I'm trying to do what my mom has said and not play the blame game, but I know my mom is completely not at fault for any of this, and it wouldn't have happened had I not been so distracted by everyone else. I feel like shit and wish I could take back everything that has happened. But I also want to blame melissa for being such a bitch. My mom isn't at fault and is paying for everything, and my dad said that I was doing melissa a favor [watching her dog] and that nothing is wrong with me. So I want to slap melissa and scream at her, and I want to slap and do worse things to myself...

And I think I'm going to start bawling again.