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Been having a bad day. Terrible even.

Finley broke more shit in my room this morning. A popcorn bowl this time that was storing my keyboard keys. Had my garbage balanced on top of it and he decided he was going to sit on top of that. I called him a s.o.b. and told him to gtfo of my room and my mom got mad at my language. HE CAME IN MY ROOM AND BROKE MY SHIT YET AGAIN, (like he does this with everything of mine he touches) AND I CAN'T CURSE ABOUT IT!? I'm goddamn sick and tired of the shit. No, I don't want him to replace it, I WANT HIM TO FUCKING STOP WRECKING MY SHIT ALREADY! There is a reason why he is rarely allowed in my room. And I found out the other day he was in here stealing movies off my shelf w/o asking. Because apparently he forgot how to ask again.

My mom also came upstairs today to bitch at me about my room and layton. She waited until he had gone downstairs to do so. I told her to stfu and gtfo and then walked downstairs to tell layton that he couldn't come over anymore. He's insisting upon making this much harder on me than it has to be though. Do I have to fucking break it off with him to get him to stop?

So I'm screaming inside and trying not to cry and self destruct on the outside. It's been so long but I'm not sure I'll be able to keep the depression away. Everything hurts so much right now.

Going to start locking the downstairs door to keep mom the hell out. Just because she insists upon making my life miserable doesn't mean I have to see her.

Layton also informed me that the california branch of where he is working is going on strike, so that means he's going to be getting a bunch of work that would be coming from down there. What does this translate into? He's more than likely going to be working saturdays as well as sundays and that means no weekends for only god knows how long. That much less that I'll be seeing him, or anyone.

I hate this house and living here.


Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights
Oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming
The goddess of imaginary light